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LOVE: A Conversation
Salon Night at the Bookshop
LOVE: A Conversation
- Brianne van Reenen
- 18 June 2022
- 4:08 pm
Let's Begin
On the evening of 15 June 2022, eighteen people met in the Reading Room of Wild Lark Books to discuss the topic of LOVE. The known age range was 20 to 86. Several ethnicities, several orientations, several religions, and several political ideologies were all present. I know this because it was information freely shared and openly met during the conversation, but we were all in this one room having a single conversation together.
Most of us were strangers to one another, yet we shared incredibly intimate and vulnerable experiences through that conversation. We provided patience and space to one another. We asked questions. We sat in self-reflection. Each week, we come with our own desires, hopes, apprehensions, and needs. But I believe we all come craving the connection we know exists between people. We come to prove that there is value in conversation, and we come to learn how to do it better.
Technically, the scheduled time of the Wild Lark Salon is 6PM – 7PM, understanding folks may come and go as needed. When I ritualistically closed my notebook to conclude the conversation formally, there was an audible gasp at the realization it was past 8PM. Of course, the conversation didn’t need to end and everyone was welcome to continue to stay and talk.
No one moved.
The topic of LOVE was our most vulnerable conversation yet. Again, I would like to thank everyone involved for being present – truly present. I hope I do the conversation a form of justice in the highlights below.
Topic: "LOVE"
Getting to Know Each Other Question – What was your dream job as a kid?
Conversation Starter – How has that love and passion you had a child manifested and followed you throughout your life?
Greek Words for Love
Eros – sexual passion
Philia – deep friendship
Ludus – playful love
Agape – love for everyone
Pragma – long-standing love
Philuatia – love of the self
Storge – familial love
Mania – obsessive love
Conditional Love vs Unconditional Love stem from two different sides of our brain, and when we are triggered, we are incapable of accessing compassion.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
Article on VeryWell: Read it here.
– It was pointed out that this philosophy was appropriated from indigenous culture and had exchanged the last tier with self rather than Community. We need community to teach us to love.
You can’t love effectively until you know yourself. But learning to love yourself is quite an isolating task.
There is a journey in teaching oneself how to have conversations about boundaries and needs. That must happen so that we can then teach others how to have that conversation.
Song: “Love Ain’t” by Eli Young Band – ‘I may not know what love is girl, but I know what love ain’t…’
Love is able to come forth when we feel safe.
Love can be politicized. Love can be systematically oppressed.
Join us at the next Salon Night at the Bookshop.
Topic for June 22nd: BUSYNESS
The Makings of a Sophisticated Wild Lark Books Salon Conversationalist:
– Recognizing uncomfortability means there is important discussion to be had.
– Emotions are valid.
– Experiences are valid.
– “Undecided” is valid.
– Opinions are entirely our own.
– Civility above all else.
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