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Setting New Standards for Communication
Salon Nights at the Bookshop
Setting New Standards for Communication
- Brianne van Reenen
- 6 June 2022
- 4:53 pm
“In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, between the reign of Louis XIII and the Revolution, the French nobility of the ‘ancien régime’ developed an art of sociability in which new forms of conversation were central. Left powerless and idle by their increasing exclusion from politics and administration, they turned their energies instead to the development of a refined code of manners and an ideal of gallant, spirited exchange that became a model for social and intellectual life.”
A Change in the Wind
There is a change in the wind. The past number of years have made many people feel isolated, unheard, invalid, lonely, fearful, discouraged, lost. Many good feelings have been felt as well, but I feel as though humanity has been particularly beat up in this era when we have tools to shoot words at one another with little skill but high accuracy.
Thankfully, I believe this change has an undercurrent. The pendulum is swinging from side to side, overcorrecting and coming around again. In the middle, the promise of civility rests, waiting peacefully.
Redefining High-Society
Traditionally, the famous French Salons of the 1700’s were exciting events filled with conversation, discord, parties, and wildness. In an era where the bourgeois was falling out of favor, popular salons were redefining what it meant to be a member of high-class society. It wasn’t about how smart, well-read, educated, wealthy or high-born participants were. Instead, it was about civility.
Intellect was welcome. Questions were welcome. Perspectives were welcome. Kindness was welcome. Understanding was welcome. Individuality was welcome. Challenges were welcome. But the bar was set high for boundaries in which these elements dwelled. It is within these boundaries of civility that we pay homage to the great Salons of the 1700’s with Salon Night at the Bookshop in hopes of paving forth a new era of high-class society.
So, What Do We Talk About?
Every week, the Wild Lark Books Salon gathers to discuss a topic. These topics are broad, simple, and often come with many questions – but we have found that questions are great instigators of high-class conversation!
Every week is filled with incredible conversation. Not everyone can make it in person, so I’d like to share with you some of the nuggets of gold we mined out of a particular conversation in May 2022.
Please Note: This was a room of strangers of a great age range, orientations of all sorts, varied backgrounds, different current life stages, of many beliefs, and more. But we found commonality. We learned from one another. We listened. We heard.
Topic: “Moving On”
Definition of liminal (Merriam-Webster)
1: of, relating to, or situated at a sensory threshold : barely perceptible or capable of eliciting a response
2: of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition
“Comfort Zones were once new.”
A child whose parents moved a lot made a comment about how to tell when a home is a home. In 7th grade, this young man said that it is when you open a cabinet and the crackers are there. Meaning, a place is home when things are where you expect them to be.
“Maybe you’ll stop being so miserable if you stop doing things that make you miserable.”
“An intelligent person knows that a tomato is a fruit, but a wise one knows not to put it in fruit salad.”
Reading Suggestions:
The Hollow Man by T.S. Eliot
Sex After 40 by Alejandro De Artep
Healing the Masculine Soul by Gordon Dalbey
Another Note
Keep in mind, the goal of Salon is not to change someone’s opinion but to create space for pondering perspectives. We hope you join us in future, but if you can’t make it, I’ll continue to share our mined gold bits here.
The Makings of a High-Class Wild Lark Books Salon Conversationalist:
– Recognizing uncomfortability means there is important discussion to be had.
– Emotions are valid.
– Experiences are valid.
– “Undecided” is valid.
– Opinions are entirely our own.
– Civility above all else.
Join us at the next Salon Night at the Bookshop.
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1 Comment
Thank you for this! You have wonderfully captured the essence of the evening.